Living Room Dialogue

February 13

Impressions of Jordan and Arabic studies by Kelly James

Respond to our blog "What Questions Should we be asking about globalization?"

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Home | Who We Are | Why Dialogue?

Why Dialogue?

Insights from Dympna Haber, RSHM

Some Insights On the Real Meaning of Diaogue
During our General Chapter of the Religious of the Sacred Heart of Mary in Rome during June and July, I had the opportunity to go to talks by Marie Chin, RSM and to a panel discussion by Father Tom Michel, S.J and Professor Adnane Mokrani.

Sister Marie Chin’s talks were entitled: “Beyond Boundaries There Be Monsters” and “Claiming the God-Held-Wholeness of All Creation”. The text of the talks may be found at:

http://www.rshm.org/cg2007/english/MarieChin_morning_Eng.pdf (Morning talk)

http://www.rshm.org/cg2007/english/MariaChin_afternoon_Eng.pdf (Afternoon talk)

Father Tom Michel, S.J and Professor Adnane Mokrani.led a panel on interreligious dialogue, specifically Christian-Muslim/Muslim-Christian dialogue.

I also had the opportunity to have lunch with Sister Marie Chin and to have a brief discussion with Father Tom Michel.

From the talks and panel discussions I learned a great deal about the meaning of dialogue. I find that the word “dialogue” is often used to mean that in either one-on-one or group discussion, each person can express his/her opinion while listening to each other. And, frequently, this means that the listening moves to consensus. This particular interpretation can lead to many good decisions for the whole. However, as I now understand the word “dialogue”, the meaning is broader and more challenging.

Sister Marie Chin spoke to me of her experience of a watching a group coming together for a serious discussion. When the group first assembles, each person has his/her own opinion and is often quite enthusiastic about wanting to share it with the others who will listen carefully to what is said. If the group moves to dialogue, the art of listening becomes a movement of “being with” the other persons in the group – not clinging to any given opinion at the time of listening, but letting go of personal thoughts, opinions, ideas, and simply and totally respecting and “hearing with heart and mind”. In watching a group, sometimes this is evident as heads move closer together, tension leaves, and a wonderful inner peace seems present among the participants. This type of dialogue does not necessarily move to consensus, but rather to a deep understanding of all members of the group. And, those who are able to understand in this way can change the world, for they do not need to change the ideas of the person in dialogue with them nor treat them with violence in thought, word or deed.

Dialogue between people of different religions (different political stances, different ideologies, etc.) is not easy. I asked Father Tom Michel how he was able to dialogue with a person who had no interest in his religion. At one point, he said that he was teaching a course about Christianity to a group of people who had no interest in Christianity, and who held on to what they knew about their own religion (often very little) and felt hostile toward him as he taught the class. He said that the process of moving toward dialogue certainly did not take place overnight ; it takes time and patience and listening. Dialogue happens only when there is willingness to listen on both sides.

In the beginning of the class, as he recognized the hostility, Fr. Michel said that he told the class that he had no interest in converting them, changing their ideas, making them Christians, criticizing or critiquing their religion in any way. He only wanted to let them know what he believed and why, and to give them the opportunity to ask whatever questions they wanted and share whatever ideas they had. It took quite a while for the students to believe that there was no agenda other than communicating knowledge. And, in the beginning, there were no questions. However, intellectual curiosity began to prevail, and interest began to develop. As interest developed, questions began to be asked; and questions led to listening on both sides. This moved to sharing for some on both sides, and dialogue was born between some of the students and Father Michel.

There is no simple formula for creating dialogue. Dialogue involves true trust between persons, a willingness to listen without cutting in with a different opinion; an acceptance of the other person just as he/she is and thinks and lives. With true dialogue there is a special understanding that creates peace. Sometimes it can take place within the time of a meeting; much of the time it can take years.

Imagine if we could all dialogue like this – wouldn’t our global village be very different!